THE THING ABOUT GRATITUDE X POSITIVE THOUGHTS FOR 2018

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THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN A YEAR AGO. SO MUCH HAS TAKEN PLACE SINCE THEN WHEN I LOOK BACK. I THINK ABOUT THE MANY UPS AND DOWNS OF 2017. SO MANY THINGS I'VE LEARNED ON MY OWN, IT'S MADE ME FEEL LIKE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT INDIVIDUAL. SOMETIMES I COMPARE MY PRIORITIES IN JANUARY TO WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE RIGHT NOW. ME SITTING HERE WRITING AND TALKING TO YOU HERE TODAY, LIKE I FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN MYSELF. IT MAKES ME HAPPY BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT JOURNEY-SHARING IN REAL TIME. LIFE IS NOT EASY, BUT THE BIGGEST LESSON 2017 HAS BROUGHT TO MY SPACE IS GRATITUDE. 

I'VE HAD MY STUGGLES, I'M A SILENT SUFFERER, SO I DON'T LIKE TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS ON SOCIAL PLATFORMS, NOR WILL I GO TO JUST ANYONE THESE DAYS. I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE SOMETIMES DON'T THINK I FALL ON MY ASS, OR THAT I WANT TO BE GOOD AT EVERYTHING. BUT EVEN THAT IS UNTRUE. I HAVE SO MUCH TO WORK ON. AND THIS YEAR REALLY TESTED ME. ALOT OF CRAZINESS WAS GOING ON IN THE BACKGROUND. SO LEARNING HOW TO RELY ON MYSELF THIS YEAR BROUGHT ME TO A PLACE WHERE I HAD TO EXPLORE SOLITUDE, TO BE OKAY WITH SILENCE. I SORT OF TOOK TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHERE I WAS TRYING TO GO. AND BECAUSE OF THAT UNCERTAINTY, I HAD TO START THINKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE AND I BEGAN FOCUSING ON WHAT I WAS THANKFUL FOR.

DOING THAT REALLY GAVE ME MUCH MORE INNER STRENGTH. TO BE A LITTLE MORE OPEN, MY CAR BROKE DOWN A BUNCH OF TIMES, I FELL OFF WITH INDIVIDUALS, I STARTED A NEW POSITION AT WORK WHICH DEMANDED MORE OF MY TIME, I FELT LIKE I WAS BECOMING CORNY, THE SHIT HIT THE FAN. BUT THE TRUTH IS, I BELIEVE ALL OF THAT WAS A SET UP: BY A HIGHER POWER/UNIVERSE. I WASN'T THE INVINCIBLE GIRL I HAD ALWAYS ENVISIONED MYSELF TO BE BECAUSE LIFE WAS KICKING ME IN THE ARSE.

FOR THE FIRST TIME I HAD RE-CONSIDER WHAT WAS GOING TO MAKE ME HAPPY. THAT'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE TOLD WHAT TO DO MOST OF YOUR LIFE BY YOUR FAMILY, THIS SOCIETY AND THE INSTITUTIONS. I FELT MY ANXIETY CREEPING AND LINGERING AROUND. I WAS STRUGGLING TO FIND IDEAS AND INSPIRATION AND SOMEHOW MANAGE THE ONLINE PRESENCE I WAS ATTEMPTING TO BUILD. LOTS OF TIMES I'D BE TRYING TO INFORM READERS ABOUT NEW POSTS, BUT NEEDING TO GET TO WORK AND HAVING TO POSTPONE OR PUSH MY DEADLINE. I HAD TWO OTHER JOBS ON THE SIDE I NEEDED TO FOCUS ON, I WAS TEACHING CLASSES AND THEN TRYING TO MAKE TIME TO MANAGE MY OWN HEALTH. TIME BECAME VERY LIMITED! I HAD ENTERED A NEW CHAPTER OF PROBLEM SOLVING 101. HOW WAS I TO KEEP UP?

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SO I WRITE HERE, SIMPLY PUT: GRATITUDE HAS BROUGHT A SENSE OF HUMILITY TO MY LIFE. IT'S MADE ME COME DOWN FROM FEELING LIKE I HAVE TO PEOPLE PLEASE AND CATER TO TOO MANY UNPRODUCTIVE THOUGHTS. I FEEL LIKE AT THE END OF THE DAY, I'VE HAD TO JUST STOP AND REMIND MYSELF THAT I'M PROUD OF WHAT I'VE ACCOMPLISHED. I HAVE TO TALK MYSELF UP AND GO FORWARD WITH MY PROJECTS FEARLESSLY. I TEND TO BE HARSH TOWARDS MYSELF, BUT WITH ALL THE THINGS LIFE HAS THROWN AT ME, I'VE GOTTEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE THE "BOUNCE BACK", EMOTIONAL AGILITY, BEING ABLE TO GET PAST SITUATIONS IN LESS TIME. REMAINING THANKFUL IS A STATE OF BEING, IT'S ALLOWING ME TO FOCUS ON MY OWN PROGRESS. IT'S BROUGHT SO MUCH MORE POSITIVITY AND FAITH INTO MY THOUGHTS. AND I WANT TO SHARE WHAT I GO THROUGH FROM TIME TO TIME WITH YOU BECAUSE LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS ROSY.

WE ARE SOMETIMES BEAT DOWN BY VARIOUS FORCES IN OUR LIVES, BUT WE CANNOT SUCCUMB TO THE PLANS OF OTHERS, WE MUST NOT FOLLOW THE PATH THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTS. YOU DON'T NEED PERMISSION TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF OR TO GO AGAINST THE GRAIN. I BELIEVE THAT I'M DOING EXACTLY WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO, SO I'M LOOKING UP TOWARDS WHAT 2018 WILL BRING. THE POWER OF POSITIVE THOUGHT IS A TRUE LIFE FORCE, IT'S MY PRANAYAMA. DESPITE SOME OF THE DISAPPOINTMENTS AND HARDSHIPS I'VE FACED OVER THE LAST YEAR, I'M GRATEFUL FOR THE LESSONS I'VE LEARNED, I'M THANKFUL FOR THE SUPPORT I'VE RECEIVED, THE ADVICE I'VE BEEN GIVEN, FOR ANYONE WHO HAS TRIED TO LIFT ME UP.

I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL MY FRIENDS, READERS, AND BLOG FAMILY. NAMASTE!

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PHOTOS BY KENNETH LE. FOLLOW HIM AND MOLA MOLA